Monday, March 13, 2017

Fake Plants and Live Glue

    Plants have never been my friends. I have been known to kill air ferns- simple plants that do not need soil, water or anything. I still managed to turn a lovely, green, living thing into a brown, dry, dead compost candidate. I do however, love the look of plants, especially if they have flowers or interesting leaf patterns or colors.
   As we move from place to place we have encountered both real and fake plants.  I definitely notice them but rarely do more than find our if they are real or fake.  There have been more than a few instances where I watered a fake plant to disastrous results or killed a real plant before I knew it was actually alive. In general I leave plant care to John who has a very green thumb and the ability to determine real from fake.
   Here in Scottsdale we have the usual rental place fake plants: small ficus by the front door, flower arrangements in the bedrooms and a small cactus in the kitchen. Experience has taught me that fake plants tend to look more real than real plants in many cases, especially cacti and other succulents.But there was something about that little cactus. Every night as I did the dishes it seemed to call to me "water, water". I was not to be taken in. I have watered a fake cactus before and watched it disintegrate into a green mess.  Before I gave into the siren voice coming from the tiny pot I decided to find out for sure if this plant was real or fake. So I reached over and squeezed the top.
   


   As you can see, there does not appear to be any spikes or needles growing out of this cactus. But I guess it is like a baby rattlesnake, more dangerous because it is small. in any case both my finger and thumb suddenly felt on fire as tiny barbs entered and stayed under my skin.
   I tried to use tweezers to remove the needles but they were so small and light in color that they were virtually invisible. So I consulted the greatest source of Medical Knowledge Known to Mankind - The Internet.  Most sources advised the use of tweezers (really?) and many said what not to do, (it never occurred to me to hold my fingers over fire and burn the spikes out). I finally found a solution that made sense and I confirmed it with two other sources. The answer was glue.
   Anyone who has taught a class or even had children who did crafts know this fact; kids like to play with glue.  They will pour it on their hands, wait for it to dry then rub it off into little glue balls that make a mess.  This is why glue sticks were invented.  The problem was glue stick would dry out if not capped properly or if they were just sitting in a storage closet over summer break. Invariably, the glue sticks were gone before the projects were done leaving slower kids or later classes with the need for staples and tape to complete their assignments.
   My solution to this dilemma was to forego the glue sticks and do projects old school with good old fashioned Elmer's glue. I had a large jug of the stuff in my classroom. When students were   ready to glue they brought me a scrap of paper and I carefully poured a small amount of the precious liquid onto the scrap; enough to use but not enough to play with.  We called it live glue as it would run all over if not carried carefully. "Watch your hair Marissa, there is live glue behind you"and "Don't let the live glue get on your notebook Jason". We respected the power of the live glue to go where it did not belong and for over 30 years never had a classroom incident. In fact the same kids who like to rub glue all over their hands did not want to put glue on one finger to apply it to the project.
    Ok back to my problem. According to Dr Internet, apply a thin coat of glue over the affected area, let it dry for 30 minutes then peel off the glue and Voila. The spikes will be pulled out. This sounds right so off I went to the store to buy some glue which was easier said than done. Three stores later I discovered many glue sticks but no liquid glue. The burning of the spikes hastened my decision and I went for the biggest glue stick I could find.
   After three applications of gluestick, wait and wash  most of the barbs were out, The last few came out through repeated washing but as I type this I think there may still be a few more in my finger. The lesson here is be sure the plant is fake before you touch it and always carry live glue.

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